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I'm Still Here Waiting for Things to Change

January 19th, 2009 at 04:04 pm

I am still alive, but I am still in debt and dealing with those "surprises" I told you about earlier. My husband is currently running an "errand" as I write this post. I am so over this! It is causing problems in our marriage and I am just sick and tired of trying to deal with it all. I got a check (YEAH!) from CafePress with some commissions and was excited that that was only $12 less than what I'd need to buy a new booster seat for my son (on sale this week, otherwise it'd be $15 more) and now I'm hesitant to do that. It's more of a want than a need so I guess that'll be put on the backburner. It's just all so frustrating! I cannot seem to get ahead and I feel like I have done everything I can. I know he's trying and it's not fair for me to get so upset when new things come up since it's all past borrowing that is now rearing it's ugly head, but I do. I just don't know how much more I can take.

I'm changing the 2008 goals in the sidebar to read 2009 since they are all the same and still apply. Any progress we made last year has been undone, other than having baby #2 and getting our life documents (will, advanced directive, etc.) in order. So, here we go, hoping for a new beginning again soon and trying to keep the faith. Oh, I'm also going to try my hand at using coupons while grocery shopping and see if we can't save some money that way to put towards debt.

I still draw strength from y'all even if I'm not actively posting. Thanks for everything!

6 Responses to “I'm Still Here Waiting for Things to Change”

  1. lizajane Says:

    {{hugs}} Glad you checked back in with us. I'm sorry things aren't going better yet, but keep on focusing ahead and it will get better. You aren't alone with the 2009 goals looking much like the 2008 goals. I haven't really updated mine either because they are about the same. But, look at the good things you have accomplished with the life documents. Those are so important! (I can't even claim that accomplishment...)

    I don't quite understand why the surprises keep popping up. Is it still all money that hubby borrowed before, or is he continuing to make new deals that aren't in the plan? He needs to come "clean" so you can both make a workable plan. It almost sounds like he's afraid to admit the extent of the debt, and keeps "remembering" things off and on because it's less to deal with at one time. But that's not fair because you need to know the whole picture in order to work on a plan. Couponing is a great idea (I'm a big fan). You might brainstorm other ways to bring in extra money to get ahead. Best of luck!!

  2. Petunia Says:

    Sorry it's still so rough for you. I think lizajane has offered you some good suggestions. All I can add is "keep going". The kind of things that drag on are draining.

  3. dmontngrey Says:

    Go for it with trying coupons! It's not too hard to learn to do it and do it right! I'm just getting into it myself and you can read about yesterday's shopping trip in my latest blog entry. So I stocked up on some thing this weekend and it will be different things next weekend. I'm learning how to shop the drugstores (riteaid, cvs, walgreens) and found out they all have their own "iheart" websites: www.iheartcvs.com, www.iheartriteaid.com, www.iheartwags.com where you can learn about the sales. I also found a thread on hotcouponworld dedicated to my local grocery store. That's how I learned about the Unilever/catalina deal! You do have to get your hands on the coupon inserts each week - ask around for them if you don't get the Sunday paper. Good luck! There are tons of resources online to help you out with this and it WILL save you money.

  4. mooshocker Says:

    Okay. I would never even suggest this if I did not feel your emotional needs are as pressing as anything else.

    First, varify that your employement and DH's employment are secure. This can be done rather quickly by simply reviewing the companies you work for.

    Next, and please understand how difficult this may be, but for the betterment of your entire family and ability to focus.....CASH IN YOUR RETIREMENT. You hold 43k in retirement but hold 39k in unsecurred debt (less your auto payment which should be considered lifelong since a reliable vehicle is a must).

    That will leave you with a 15k car payment and living expenses which you have not listed (i.e., mortgage, rent, taxes, insurance, etc.)

    Now, one would say, yes, but there goes our retirement. Imagine how rejuvenating and invigorating your life will be without 39k worth of debt. Doubling retirement re-payments and taking other steps to invest for retirement become much more attainable.

    You state you are 30ish. I assume, 35 or so. It is doable, especially with the value of retirement funds being about 1/2 of what they were two years ago.

    Consider it and of course, get professional advise. Nontheless, God bless and I will say a prayer for you and your family.

  5. homebody Says:

    I don't agree with Moonshocker at all! How is she going to cash in a 401K when they have already borrowed from it.

    Better to buckle down and be frugal. If you don't address the problems, they will be back in the same situation. DH has got to snap out of it!

    Personal, you are now responsible for 2 little ones well being. What if DH loses his job? I'm sure you have thought these things. I think you should talk to your family about it. Everyone is going through tough times, they could at least give you moral support.

    Keep posting!

  6. Personal Finance Student Says:

    lizajane - Yes, it's all past borrowing. I trust him when he says that he hasn't borrowed anymore money. He just did not keep records and borrowed more than he realized. We pay when he remembers. It's frustrating, but I know I can trust him. It's been very hard on him too, to have to tell me all over again every time.

    Petunia and dmontngrey - Thanks for the support. I picked up my first Sunday paper of coupons this weekend and have spent the day on several websites gleaning information. I'll have to let you know how it goes!

    mooshocker - Yes, my husband's employment is very secure, which is a blessing. As for the retirement, that is not something we can or want to do. Part of our retirement is stocks in the company that we couldn't cash out now even if we wanted too and that is something of a security blanket for me. We have stopped contributions until things settle down and that was hard enough for me. No, as soon as we get the "surprises" past us and stick to a budget, I think we could be out of debt (other than car and possibly student loans) in about 3-4 years.

    homebody - Thanks for the support. I have thought about the possibility of DH lost his job, but as I said to mooshocker, we are very blessed in it's security. That said, I don't want to take it for granted. My husband's issues of borrowing really are in the past, it's just still haunting us, but hopefully that will be over soon, it can't last forever right?! Smile

    Thanks for all the support. This is the one place I can let all the ugly numbers show. I feel better now. My husband and I had another very good talk and I am feeling more optimistic. This post was written while I was angry and frustrated. I feel much calmer and at peace and know that things will be looking up soon.

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